Thursday, March 24, 2011

All. Over. Again.

Monday night it hit me. I am starting the infertility roller coaster all over again. After 6 rounds of Clomid, multiple blood draws, doctors appointments...followed by more, ultrasounds, pelvic exams, poking, prodding, and touching, I am starting all over again.

After hearing that I have "built a tolerance against Clomid" in November (which I now know is incorrect), we took almost a 5 month break from medicated trying. We decided to test fate, and see what would happen with a couple of months of no meds or doctors. Well we didn't get pregnant, and my cycle started to do weird things, so we called an RE.

I went to the first appointment absolutely terrified, yet excited.Terrified to hear some life altering diagnosis and to be dismissed for our age, but excited to get the opportunity to move on to different treatments and hopefully a very easily treated and minor cause for our infertility. I left the appointment excited and start and was floating on cloud 9. I told my mom and some friends everything that we will be doing, and ecstatic that we are taking the next step toward Baby Lathim.  On Friday the 18th (CD24), I went for my first blood draw to get a CBC, progesterone, and vit D reading. I was told that they would fax the results to my doctor, but I can also pick them up on Monday. So after a long excruciating wait until Monday, I get to work super early to be sure that I will have time to get to the lab, I wait in line behind a patient worried about missing her bus, then she digs through her purse, and continues yapping...Meanwhile there's me. I am sitting there tapping  my foot, looking around, sighing, and every so anxious to get my results. Finally it's my turn and they aren't ready yet. Then it hit me...I am starting this roller coaster all over again. I have a few people in my life that are a great support system, but I need more. So after crying to a couple of friends, and book shopping the next day, I think that I will be getting the support that I need. 

Now I have a wait another week or so for my next step. I will go in for my FSH/E2 test on the third day of my cycle (hurry!!!), and then on to my HSG and back to the doctor. So here we go, starting to go up that first hill on the roller coaster, only this time we don't know if it's going to be a wimpy fair roller coaster, or a terrifying, loopy, jerky, dangle me over an alligator pit kinda-thing.

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