I spend entirely too much time on infertility blogs, but I came across this site called http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/ and it gives 999 reasons to laugh about inferility. There was a post of the infertile cycle and this is it:
"Typical Month of the Infertile Negative pregnancy test.
Period.
Cry on toilet.
Cry in bed.
Depression.
Cry at work in bathroom.
Day 3, fertility appointment.
Wonder if you should try having sex during your period.
Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.
Inspect toilet paper after wiping hourly.
Fight with partner about infertility.
Friend announces she’s pregnancy. Emotional breakdown.
Ovulate?
IUI?
Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, (shooting blanks)
Two week wait.
Facebook friend posts a picture of her bump. Cry.
Baby shower invite. Cry about that.
Analyze for early pregnancy symptoms.
Google: “Right breast feels heavier than left breast. Am I Pregnant?”
Google: “Peeing a lot at night, IUI.”Google: “Left nipple looks darker. Pregnancy?”Google: “Metallic taste in mouth. Pregnant?”
Inspect toilet paper after wiping hourly.
Hope for implantation bleeding.
Test early or wait for period.
Negative.
Mental breakdown.
REPEAT AGAIN THE FOLLOWING MONTH, AND THE MONTH AFTER THAT AND THE MONTH AFTER THAT AND THE MONTH AFTER…"
Unfortunetly, this is exactly how it goes....
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
"Failing Up"
"You're a classic example of failing up." That was a line that was said in this week's Grey's Anatomy to someone who "accidently" got a non-relationship partner pregnant by someone struggling with infertility. I love it, and it might just be my new motto. It came at a perfect time with my life with people and their constant announcements of pregnancy.
The newest pregnancy announcement was on Saturday on Facebook. She took a picture of her pregnancy test and posted the positive picture on Facebook. I think that that annoucement was the hardest on me of all of the other ones. Most people just announce it with words, or with a picture of their ultrasound, but this girl took a picture of something that I am afraid that I will never see. When I saw the word "pregnant" on the test with out "not" in front of it, it felt like I was punched in the stomach. Then this girl posted pictures of her and her husband thrilled of the news. Then to make matters worse she said, "now that the news it out that I am preggers, I can use this place to vent..." and went on to complain that she is sick, tired, and her back hurts. Well first of all, don't say "preggers" I hate that. It's as bad as "baby daddy." Second of all, I don't think it is appropriate to announce all over Facebook about your constant vomiting...no one wants to hear about it...no one. I hate inconsiderate pregnant people! Filter what you post for the world to read!! Actually, that is not only important for pregnant people, but a general good rule of thumb for anything.
Ok, now that I have complained and got that off of my chest, I can go back to my quote. When "Dr. Shepard" said that he prefaced it with something along the lines of how can you get someone pregnant by looking at them, and others try for months and months with out success, and then he said, "you're the classic example of failing up." I loved it! I love how it is a failure to accidently get someone pregnant, but a success to have a baby. Maybe I will say it to the next undeserving pregnant person.
The newest pregnancy announcement was on Saturday on Facebook. She took a picture of her pregnancy test and posted the positive picture on Facebook. I think that that annoucement was the hardest on me of all of the other ones. Most people just announce it with words, or with a picture of their ultrasound, but this girl took a picture of something that I am afraid that I will never see. When I saw the word "pregnant" on the test with out "not" in front of it, it felt like I was punched in the stomach. Then this girl posted pictures of her and her husband thrilled of the news. Then to make matters worse she said, "now that the news it out that I am preggers, I can use this place to vent..." and went on to complain that she is sick, tired, and her back hurts. Well first of all, don't say "preggers" I hate that. It's as bad as "baby daddy." Second of all, I don't think it is appropriate to announce all over Facebook about your constant vomiting...no one wants to hear about it...no one. I hate inconsiderate pregnant people! Filter what you post for the world to read!! Actually, that is not only important for pregnant people, but a general good rule of thumb for anything.
Ok, now that I have complained and got that off of my chest, I can go back to my quote. When "Dr. Shepard" said that he prefaced it with something along the lines of how can you get someone pregnant by looking at them, and others try for months and months with out success, and then he said, "you're the classic example of failing up." I loved it! I love how it is a failure to accidently get someone pregnant, but a success to have a baby. Maybe I will say it to the next undeserving pregnant person.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Defining Myself
My name is Kyndra, and I am infertile. That's how I define myself these days. It's sad, but unfortunately true. Infertility has this way of taking over every ounce of your being. It takes over your work, hobbies, family, friends, and your marriage. When people ask me what I do in my spare time I usually say something along the lines of spending time with family and friends, going shopping, and taking my dog on his daily outing. Sure it's true, but I leave a major aspect of my life out: researching, reading, living, and breathing infertility. I read online blogs about issues, successes, and failures. I research treatment options. I read infertility related books. And while I do my other hobbies, such as shopping, I drag my depressed, infertile self to the baby section of the store and dream about what I would buy when I have a baby (because I will).
When you're infertile it takes over your friends and family as well. When I am depressed, I tend to pull away from those around me. I know that it's not the right thing for me to do, but I just can't help it. I hate it when people see me down. I love my family, and I love being close to them, but when you are depressed and failing at what is supposed to come so naturally, it kind of tends to pull you away. I have a lot of close friends that I am forever grateful for, but this past year and a half has taught be a lesson: you quickly find out how your true friends are when you are going through a hard time. Some of my friends I am very open to about our infertility struggles, others, well let's just say they didn't quite make the cut. I was told by someone close to me that I shouldn't let this define who my true friends are, well guess what, I do. I understand that infertility is a hard thing for someone to try to help someone through, especially if you have no experience with it, but really all I need is a shoulder to cry on. I don't want advice (unless you're going through it). You don't have to say anything. All I need you to do is be there. If my friends can't be here for me during what has been one of the hardest and most painful experiences of my life, well then I'm sorry, but I don't want you there for my best either.
I think that this infertility journey has actually brought AJ and I closer together, although, it is just so hard and stressful on our relationship. I'm sure he's tired of seeing me happy as could be for a while after some good news or a positive ovulation test, and then when the two little lines elude me yet again, I come crashing down. I sink into this deep depression and just want to give up. This happens day in and day out. Right now our big issue is what I haven't had a positive ovulation test yet, and by this time last month I had. Plus when you're riding the emotional roller coaster that infertility is, and having schedule husband/wife time, the excitement of it kind of goes away. I just wish we could get a answers or a positive test (preferably the latter), so we can go back to our normal, happy selves.
I define myself as infertile. When we are with our couple friends (which they all have kids), I feel that we are the "infertile couple." When I go to the doctor's office I feel like the infertile one (I'm sure that will change when we go to ORM). When I am at work I feel like the infertile one.
I know that I am a wife, daughter, sister, and friend, but at the end of the day, I am just the 1 out of every 6 people who are categorized as "infertile."
When you're infertile it takes over your friends and family as well. When I am depressed, I tend to pull away from those around me. I know that it's not the right thing for me to do, but I just can't help it. I hate it when people see me down. I love my family, and I love being close to them, but when you are depressed and failing at what is supposed to come so naturally, it kind of tends to pull you away. I have a lot of close friends that I am forever grateful for, but this past year and a half has taught be a lesson: you quickly find out how your true friends are when you are going through a hard time. Some of my friends I am very open to about our infertility struggles, others, well let's just say they didn't quite make the cut. I was told by someone close to me that I shouldn't let this define who my true friends are, well guess what, I do. I understand that infertility is a hard thing for someone to try to help someone through, especially if you have no experience with it, but really all I need is a shoulder to cry on. I don't want advice (unless you're going through it). You don't have to say anything. All I need you to do is be there. If my friends can't be here for me during what has been one of the hardest and most painful experiences of my life, well then I'm sorry, but I don't want you there for my best either.
I think that this infertility journey has actually brought AJ and I closer together, although, it is just so hard and stressful on our relationship. I'm sure he's tired of seeing me happy as could be for a while after some good news or a positive ovulation test, and then when the two little lines elude me yet again, I come crashing down. I sink into this deep depression and just want to give up. This happens day in and day out. Right now our big issue is what I haven't had a positive ovulation test yet, and by this time last month I had. Plus when you're riding the emotional roller coaster that infertility is, and having schedule husband/wife time, the excitement of it kind of goes away. I just wish we could get a answers or a positive test (preferably the latter), so we can go back to our normal, happy selves.
I define myself as infertile. When we are with our couple friends (which they all have kids), I feel that we are the "infertile couple." When I go to the doctor's office I feel like the infertile one (I'm sure that will change when we go to ORM). When I am at work I feel like the infertile one.
I know that I am a wife, daughter, sister, and friend, but at the end of the day, I am just the 1 out of every 6 people who are categorized as "infertile."
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