Saturday, November 13, 2010

Coming to Terms

I have had a hard time this week dealing with the news that I go on Monday. It probably doesn't help that I've been alone all week either. Since my body has built a tolerance against Clomid we have run out of options at my OB's office. We now have to go to an RE and trying to come to peace with that is so hard.

I had a little intuition that Clomid wouldn't work for us, but each month I was so hopeful that it would. And now here I am out of options and having to go to a specialist. This is selfish of me, but I don't feel like we deserve what we're going through. We've done everything right so why are we being punished? It's just not fair that we have to go to a specialist. I hate asking for help this feels like the ultimate failure. We cannot even accomplish what our bodies were created to do

I know that one out of every six couples struggle with infertility, so it's relatively common, but I still can't help but wonder "why us?" I am so tired of feeling depressed and isolated. Everyone around me either has kids or is pregnant.

Hopefully our appointment in January will open new opportunities and give me answers as to why I am not ovulating.

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