Monday, November 8, 2010

Bad news

I finally got my progesterone levels back, and I didn't ovulate. My progesterone levels were only 6.6. It was my sixth round of Clomid and fourth on 150mg. Each time before on 150mg of Clomid I would ovulate everytime, but not this time. My doctor thinks that my body has built a tolerance against Clomid. She told me that I can try it one more month or go to an RE. We decided to go to an RE. We are going to make an appointment for January. Now I just need to call our insurance and see if they will atleast cover the diagnostic part of the RE exams/tests. Our insurance said they will cover infertility treatment as long as it is caused by a medical condition, and since I don't have any known causes, hopefully they will atleast cover the diagnostic part. It is so expensive.

It's so weird to me that I didn't ovulate. I had gotten to the point to where I thought I was on a good dosage of Clomid and I would ovulate every time. My only worry was that my doctor was going to kick me off Clomid before we were pregnant. I guess I was in for a real surprise. So now I am at work all alone. AJ is hunting, and all I want to do is cry myself to sleep but I can't. Here I am putting on a fake happy face for the entire world to see.

I actually thought that this month was going to be our month. According to the ovulation calendars I would have ovulated on my birthday and I had this big plan of not telling our families until Christmas morning. I was going to wrap up ultrasound pictures and have all the family open them up...so much for that plan. Now I am dreading the holidays again. I just want to go to bed and wake up in January. Can I skip Christmas please? I would much rather get away from life and go on a much needed vacation...anywhere...just away from here, family, infertility, work, and life in general.

With the results that I got today it feels like my entire world just stopped spinning and I am completely alone and don't know what to do. So here I go again: depressed, frustrated, alone, and waiting...the story of the infertile woman.

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