Little intuition

You know that little voice in your head that tells you something is wrong? Well, I've had that obnoxious voice since I was in high school when I got on the birth control pill. I took that infamous little while pill every single day, on time, never a second late, yet I had that inner voice telling me that I was wasting my time and that I don't even need the pill. I told AJ time and time again that my biggest fear is that I am wasting my time on the birth control pill because I never even needed it, well apparently my little intuition was right.

Don't get me wrong, when I was young, ignorant, and in high school, even though deep down I heard that voice, I just knew that I would be the 1% that gets pregnant on the birth contol pill. Well needless to say I was not that 1% that got pregnant, I was one of the 99% that do not get pregnant. That was the only time regarding my reproductive health that I was one of the ordinary.

I hated that pill. I absolutely hated it. I hated taking it every day. I hated living the first half of my day staring at the clock waiting for my time to take the pill. Most of all I hated what it did to me. However, I didn't know that feelings that I was experiencing were from the pill at all. I found that out shortly after I got off of the it. I was on that pill for five long years of my life. Five years that if I could go back, I definitely not have taken that pill and would have made more responsible decisions. But I cannot go back, so now we are stuck trying to find our way through infertility and how to start the rest of our lives.